Hmm....and where to begin....again? Let us start from the beginning of my mind's eye.
Thus far, I have settled into my new life of a working RMT nicely. I quite enjoy going in for massages & hearing the great feedback. I love not spending every waking minute with my nose in a text book or feeling guilty for having fun! Most of all I suppose I truly do enjoy helping people. As with every new stepping stone in life I cautiously feel out the footing before carefully putting my weight down for a committed step. I annoy myself by doing this, sure I usually end up seeing every possible angle or outcome before I leap, but how fun can such a calculating person be? *L* I still find myself longing to be the kind of person who really doesn't worry as much as me, but I can't complain about my life, I have learned so much.
I am now a woman of 31, just finished an intense course to start my career in the health profession, newly engaged & living away from my hometown. I don't feel 31, I certainly don't look it! Parts of my biological clock tell me I SHOULD be having babies, my mind tells me I want to do other things. Maybe I am at another crossroads in my life. I noticed that when the major changes in my life happen, there's usually a new realization of things. A sort of down in the dumps feeling that simply perplexes me. These are times that I should be celebrating, enjoying & living life to the fullest. Instead I feel awkward & think about all the things that I should be doing with even more time to think now that I am suffering a bout of transient insomnia . No doubt I always straighten up after a few weeks & hit my new stride again, I always do. But the transition periods are not very fun are they?
Lately, I have really been enjoying Twitter to give myself a much needed boost. It's just IMHO that Facebook seems to be a huge portal for negative posts & being sucked into reading all the juicy gossip that floats about amongst my friends. After feeling out Twitter-land I find myself opened up to a whole new kind of group! All I had to do was add random people that tweeted things I liked & "retweet" what they have to say, I have found myself a pseudo positive army. Everyday I go on Twitter & find myself attracting more followers who re-tweet what I say just because they like what I put on there! Who knew I would get my motivations for being a good person & staying positive from a social media site from people I will probably never meet?!? Gone are the days when I feel I must accept certain friend request & keep them on my friends list only because it's less of a headache for me. I mean I still do that, but now I have Twitter to counteract the craziness on Facebook.
As I sit typing on my netbook, texting & blackberry messaging on my phone, making connections with strangers around the world in my 2 bedroom apartment with 3 TV's and almost every luxury-turned-necessity in the new millennium. (Except a dishwasher *grumble grumble*) I hear my dad's words in my head, he likes to tell us that his father Eddie Patsey Sr. would have been amazed at all the technology. I imagine a simpler time of my parent's youth, or even my youth. Before cell phones & when kids still went out ALL day, came back filthy in time for dinner with no parents up in arms about bacteria, name brand clothes, allergies or latest outbreak scare. I see my late grandfather sitting on a porch, enjoying a simple cup of coffee, thinking about his youth. To his eyes all of this might have been amazing. Yet, to me I still want the better car, flat screen TV, blue ray, new Coach handbag & home in North Vancouver. I wonder what this says about me and my generation.
I think sometimes, maybe if I lived in a simpler time I wouldn't be so worrisome & calculating. Then again, maybe those are my gifts that I have been blessed with & just not yet learned to use them to my fullest abilities. I suppose being a more "sensitive" person isn't so bad when you have the right tools. So along with my prayers, giving thanks everyday, law of attraction, faith that better things were meant for me, love of a good man, great family, wonderful friends, a refuge from the crazy world I call home & now Twitter, I will be just fine. =) My search for peace, health & happiness continues....
Ama ya
Namaste
